Getting onto Your Kid’s Wavelength–Listening and Talking Skills For Parents (and Teachers)

Brian slams the door and throws his lunch kit against the shoe rack. Mom hears the kafuffle and hurries in. She looks at him with a questioning eye. “What’s wrong with you. Don’t look at me like that,” he yells. “You sound mad,” mom replies. “Mad, I’m not mad. I hate school; whoever invented it should be thrown in jail,” Brian shouts. “Your mad about school,” his mom replays. “I can’t believe Mrs. Jones separated Ricky and I. He was only showing me his transformer watch,” Brian stammers. “You and Ricky are best friends aren’t you,” mom consoles. Tears begin to trickle down Brian’s cheeks. Bingo! Mom was right. Brian feels understood. His mom knew what he was saying and not saying. By listening to Brian and mirroring his messages, Brian’s mom helped him pinpoint what really was bugging him and set the stage for him to solve his problem. She gave him room to get mad, and helped him uncover his underlying sadness.