When you stop and think about it: all of us are different. The way you or your child thinks is part of what sets you apart from the rest of the human race. I can’t say having a learning disability is great. If given a choice, I’d probably pass the opportunity by next time around. What I can say though is that having a learning problem can open the door to self-discovery.
We all have a desire to be good at something: we’re born with it. I believe everyone wants and needs to shine. When children don’t do well in school, they almost instinctively look elsewhere for their confidence. Maybe it’s playing basketball, doing improv, wood carving, pottery…the list is limited only by our imagination. I remember my son telling us he was going to make a career out of playing games on his computer. I had to draw the line there; although the list is endless, it’s not that endless.
As parents we have a responsibility to help our kids discover their hidden talents and nurture them. These are what propel us through life. Maybe our kids won’t make a living from wood carving, but maybe they will make a living from building furniture or homes, or doing art installations for a museum. Ultimately we want our kids to do something they’re good at, makes them happy, and let’s not forget, make money doing. This is the same for any child, whether they have a learning problem or not.
Also, this might sound old-fashioned, but I believe struggles help build character. I wasn’t sitting in my son’s classroom all day, but I can imagine how embarrassing it would’ve been to get the lowest mark in the class, or be the last one picked for a group project. As painful as these experiences are, the silver lining is they build resiliency, which is a good trait to have in a competitive world. Naturally, we don’t want to see our kids disappointed. Most of us go out of our way to avoid it, and sometimes complain a lot when it happens. Trust me, I’m not above these measures either. I’m just saying the world is not perfect, and your child has to learn how to adapt to its imperfections. We as parents need to decide when and where to open the door for our children to the school of hard knocks.
Needless to say, our son developed a thick skin, almost too thick. My husband used to wonder if our son was ever nervous about anything, or took failures to heart, the way other kids did. The answer is yes, but not for the same number of things other kids worried about. Failure for our son was not the end of the world; there was always a way out of every predicament. I used to tell him, not every failure was redeemable, but most of the time he proved me wrong. As a parent, I’d seen too many things go wrong, which ultimately gave me a more fatalistic look at life. When it comes down to it, optimism is always preferable to pessimism. Our son had the hope and brightness of youth, plus numerous setbacks under his belt, which, I think gave him an edge, even over kids brighter than him.
What I also saw with our son is that he became a master at building bridges with other classmates. If he didn’t know how to do something, he would find someone who did. Sometimes they would swap expertise, and he would help them with something he was better at. When it comes down to it knowing how to ask for help and cooperate are powerful tools to have in any job scenario. Even the head honcho doesn’t know everything.
I also think we as parents can take a lesson from our children. My son used to say, “it’s not the end of the world Mom,” and you know what, he was right. I saw his academic career coming to an end several times, but he proved me wrong. Thank goodness.